Feeling Very "Connected"

I am not going to go into detail just yet because I feel this story will be better savored and understood in a week or so. However, I do just want to say that day by day, I am seeing that this world is not such a terrible place...that people are not as bad as they seem, and that there truly is something bigger out there. I am witnessing that the world as a whole is like one beating heart...In moments when we feel most at our wits end, like we won't be able to go on, God delivers people into our lives that impact us quite profoundly. Since starting my blog not even a year ago I don't think, I have met a handful of people from all over the world that never cease to amaze me with their wonderful talents, kind words, and big hearts. I have received wonderful advice, much support, laughed much, learned much, been moved to tears, moved to my knees, and felt more at peace than I believe I have ever felt in my life. I know God is in control of all this, but I just have to say thank you for all the people out there that I have interacted with who are following God's subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, nudges in my direction.

For some time now, I have been feeling like it is time to stop being a selfish child and start paying it forward. My eyes are constantly open for areas to reach out to others with love. I have come to realize I am really over analyzing this, though. I must constantly remind myself of K.I.S.S. Keep it Simple Stupid. Yes, it is a funny anecdote, but it holds true meaning for me. I am never happier than when my life is simple. I never feel better than when I do something simple for someone else. I never have seen more beauty in the world than when I notice the most simple of things, and I have never been so moved than by the most simple of gestures.

Again, I just want to say a blanket thank you to everyone I have met along my blogging path. I could not ask for better people to read about, learn from, lean on, cry with, laugh with, and write my story with. So, Thank You, all of you.

Big T's Blog!!

For any of you interested in getting to know my fiance, please hop on over and check out his new blog. Give him some extra love. He's a wonderful writer, and I'm so insanely happy to get a chance to finally know what is happening in his brain. ;o)

Check out Big T!

After a very strange week for me emotionally, I feel back to normal. I had been itching to write a song about the two girls. Last night, I had the house to myself for awhile, so I went where my heart took me. I can't say that any of you will ever get to hear the song, not even my nearest and dearest. I didn't record it. I didn't write it down. I don't even feel sad about that like I normally would. It was not meant for the world to hear, and it was not meant to gain recognition. It was just meant to clean my soul a bit.

I have to say, I really love this blogging thing. When I was really down this week, and I posted my blog, I got a lot of comments pretty much letting me know I was not alone. I also read the blogs of some other ladies around Middleofnowheresville, USA, and I felt much more at ease knowing my feelings were normal and shared. Once again, the blogging world came to my rescue! :)

I went to another concert last night. I am still not comfortable up front where the action is. So much so that when a mosh pit happened, and I was watching from a table over yonder, I got a wiff of beer. Mix that with my anxiety about having my head busted open again, and you get the pukey feeling in your stomach and the feeling of something warm running down your body (no, not pee! haha). I don't know when I will be comfortable rocking out up front again, and that is really a sad thing for me. When we go to watch our boys (Verdict, check em out on myspace; www.myspace.com/verdictmusic) I can feel their passion in the songs they sing. The music just moves through me, and it is healing for me. Whatever crap I have dealt with in the week, I can just hold my head up and tell all the bad stuff to go to H***. (haha, You can tell I'm not much of a cusser.) Someone has taken that away from me, though, and they don't even have the gall to tell me who it was. I honestly could care less about the bottle and the stitches, not that I want them again. What hurts the most is that someone has made me afraid to do something I really love.

Anyway, I am really feeling "free-er" (I believe I should talk in my blog exactly how I would probably talk to you if you were in front of me. My sister can vouch for that!! haha). I'm off to do some shopping today for some fabric! Retail therapy!! Haha