Fingerless Gloves, Mittens, Flip-Top Mittens

This is how I have been spending the past week or so of my life. It is getting very cold in my neck of the woods, and I am hoping to cash in on the cold weather, if you will. Recently, I lost my job at the chiropractic office. I have not worked a traditional job for a little over a week now, but that is not to say I haven't been working at all. In all actuality, I have been working quite a lot.

I consider myself to be an entrepreneur now, and I am working toward learning everything there is to know about being...umm... one of those. I am also embracing my more creative side. I have been writing patterns, like the ones for these glove and mittens above, as well as a few others.

It has been scary not working a traditional job, not having a steady income, not knowing how in the world we are going to keep our apartment, but it has also been endearing. I know it sounds crazy, but I have never felt so free and so happy to be jobless. We will just continue to figure it out from here.

Any Special Requests?

If anyone out there has anything they would like me to try to crochet for them, I would love the opportunity. My Etsy Shop is going to become our extra income while my fiance is jobless. If you know anyone who needs or even just wants anything, please pass my name along.


I know I'm sounding ridiculously desperate, but out of desperation comes many masterpieces.


Please pass along the name KMB Studio to anyone you know that wants some hand made gifts. I do jewelry and crochet items, and I can knit beginner items.


I would really appreciate your help and prayers right now. Thanks, all!

Emotional Uproar

Today my fiance was given the news that he no longer has a job...


I feel anxious...


When I found out, I cried and shook...


My stomach is all tied up in knots right now...


He's already filling out an application for a new job and planning on going to the unemployment office tomorrow...


He's ok...


I feel so sad for him...


He didn't deserve to get laid off...


He's such a hard worker. He doesn't miss days unless he's practically dying. He does what he's told and rarely ask questions. He doesn't complain. He gives it his all. He gets along with his co-workers.


It's not really his dream, though...


He doesn't really like the job, though...


It really is time for something new...


With so much change in our lives right now, I suppose it is time for that area of our lives to change as well.


I also just checked my e-mail...


I received a one line e-mail from an old friend...


She was just dropping by to say hello...


I think I will always love that friend...


I still have dreams about her and think about her a lot...


My heart is still hurt, though...


I'm still feeling a little jaded...


There's too much else happening in life right now to try to pick up the pieces...


I'm glad she said hello, though...


I'm glad she didn't try to push me...


I'm glad she kept it simple...


I'm glad she still thinks of me...


Only God knows how this will all play out...


Only God knows why both things happened today...


Only God knows...


Only God knows...


I feel better knowing...that only God knows.

Oh my, Oh my.

Do you still recognize me? I hope so! It seems I have been on quite a long hiatus from this blog world, and it makes me very sad not to be able to read the daily ramblings of all my blogger friends!!

Life is all right at the moment. Big T is back to work, so that is truly fantastic! I know he doesn't love the job, and I feel bad that he has to work somewhere he doesn't love. I am glad to be able to pay our bills, though. I haven't really been in panic mode, but I sure do feel panicky. I feel scared that we won't have enough. I feel frustrated that God is testing me constantly. I feel mad at myself for being mad at God. I have to be honest with myself and God, though.

Beyond that, my new job is going so well. I am a receptionist/assistant/cleaning lady/babysitter/marketing/whatever needs to be done! :) I am always busy. And just to clarify, I am not really a babysitter. However, when a patient comes in and brings their children, their children have to wait in the waiting room. I have only had this happen once, so far, but it is an area that I am not entirely comfortable with because I don't want to have to keep someones children in line. I am just going to pray I don't have to deal with many unruly children. :oS

The people I work for are truly great, though. The doctor is funny and a little off kilter sometimes. ;o) That last comment was just in case he is ever reading this some day. His wife, the business manager and my other boss is so bright and easy to be around. She is actually really supportive, as is her husband, of my business endeavors. She is going to be buying a blanket from me that I am really excited about making. It is full of bright colors. She specifically said, "The brighter the better!" She really enjoys the eclectic crafts and gifts, and she adds a splash of color wherever she is. Its nice to be around.

These colors below are the colors I chose for her blanket. She had said to me, "You know the colors in a marker box? Make the blanket like that." So, I did just that. I imagined being a child again opening up a crisp new box of markers, and I envisioned all the lovely bright colors. Thus, my shopping basket below.

She put these flowers in the office, and that is how I knew she was going to be easy to get along with. ;o) We have similar tastes, and I feel as though I am going to be encouraged to truly be myself in this job. It is a perfect place for me, especially as I continue on my journey to find out who I am and what I stand for. It has certainly been quite a journey already.

When my boss was trying to describe what colors she would like the blanket to be, she pointed to these flowers and said to mimic some of these, so of course, I snapped a picture and carried it along with me. Isn't it awesome?

This next picture is of the newest item for sale in my store. It is so warm and cozy, and I'm in love with it. When I have my own little ones, I may just make a replica. I love the pastel rainbow affect it is taking, and the border adds just enough frill to make it perfect for any little girl.

The blanket ended up being about crib length, which is fantastic. I had to do a little frogging and re-working to make it work up to the right size, but as you can tell, it finished up quite nicely, and in only about a day and a half if you don't count the original start that I ripped out and re-started.

Our holiday weekend, Independence Day here in the States, ended up being really fun and relaxing. We got to see two sets of fireworks on both Saturday and Sunday nights. On Saturday, I woke up late after having been awake for hours on Friday. Friday was my first day working the morning shift at the chiropractors office, and it really wasn't too bad, especially since I was out of the office by 12pm. I got a jump start to my weekend!

We spent almost the entire day, excluding the morning, with my older brother. Hanging out with him seems to be most always rewarding because he is so loving. He loves to give hugs and tell you how much he loves you. He is great at doling out compliments. He is always smiley. He's really a teddy bear. He's funny, loves to tell jokes and be the center of attention, and he sings wonderfully. Each time we get together, he lets me listen in to some of his newest lyrical creations. He still has big dreams of making it as a singer some day. I wish him the best. I know he could do it vocally, but it is a lot of time and effort. Its a hard lifestyle.

We made it home late on Saturday, and slept in together, Big T and I, on Sunday. Around noon, we headed off to his parents house where we spent the day. For part of the day, we headed to our small town close by that hosts Fourth of July festivities. They had been postponed due to rain the previous day, so we met up with some friends, caught up with a few others, and stopped at a little Corner Store before heading back to Big T's parents' house.

I love that little corner store. They sell candies like they might have back in the pilgrim days. They sell coffee and tea and all kinds of novelty gifts. It just has a very homey, cozy feel to it.

In that shop, I got this wonderful little tea steeper. I have had my eye on them for awhile now. With the extra push of my employers, I am trying green tea more often now. My basic knowledge of green tea's benefits include that Green Tea has loads of anti-oxidants, especially if you purchase the pomegranate black berry green tea like I did this weekend. The anti-oxidants fight free radicals in your body. Free radicals are very bad. They go through your body destroying your cells, which one could assume is not OK. Your destroyed cells then become much more prone to disease, namely Cancer. Destroyed cells can no longer fight off disease, so it grows quicker. Therefore, we should all be drinking Green Tea and eating berries on a regular basis! :) *Hint, Hint*

This little tea steeper holds 8 6-oz cups of water. All I have to do is put the water in my tea kettle and spoon four teaspoons (about one teaspoon for every 2 6-oz cups of water) of loose leaf tea into the filter. When the water in my tea kettle gets to a point just before boiling, I pull it off the heat and pour it directly over the tea leaves. I then let it "steep" for about 4 minutes before I drink it.

Let me tell you, it is a little piece of Heaven knowing I am helping to prevent disease in my body while having a nice hot or iced drink.

I do hope you have all gotten your fill of me before possibly another hiatus! I enjoyed catching up...

But wait!! There's more!!

I am hosting my very first give away. I am going to post this separately, though, so all your bleeding retinas can have a rest before moving on. I hope you are all as excited as I!!

Its been so long...

What an interesting week it has been so far! I am so not happy and not adjusting well to not having the Internet. I think for next month and the months after that, though, we will be able to afford it again. So...That means...Internet again!!! And blogging again!!!

Anyway, I wish I had pictures or something fun to put on here, but I don't right now. I had taken pictures in the last few weeks planning on posting blogs about them, but I am at work right now, counting down to the last day of this job as I have already started the new job.

Anyway, again...this week has been interesting. I have laughed. I have cried. I have been utterly bored. I have been suffocated by the heat. I have been in my brain a lot. I have been missing my sister. (This work transitioning hasn't left me much time for hanging out during the day at her house.) I have been learning loads.

On Monday, we had our first "Team Meeting" where we met each other, my other co-workers, and talked about rules and what would be expected of us more in depth. I am going to be a Chiropractic Receptionist/Assistant. Part of my job will include medical billing. Another part will be cleaning. Yet another part will be taking blood pressure and pulse, weighing and measuring peoples' heights and charting those things. I will be expected to answer phones, make appointments, greet people, as well as assisting people with electrotherapy. There is just a list of things I will do, and I am so excited about all of it.

I love the way the office smells, faintly of lemon soap. It doesn't smell like a hospital or even a clinic. It is so warm and cozy. The colors are all so cheery, tangerine, spring green, purple, mauve, dark stained crown molding and tan walls. The offices are all easily accessible, and the office just exudes welcoming and comfort.

Yesterday was my first real day of working at the office, and I basically just cleaned all the chiropractic tables and anything leather and made lots of copies. I made a lot of new patient packets. I also learned a lot. I asked about cracking my neck because I have been doing it for as long as I can remember. He explained to me that he doesn't recommend it because it is only further allowing a problem to exist. Basically your spine looks like this.

When you crack your neck, you are moving vertebra that are most likely already too loose. They are too loose because the vertebra above them or below them have "locked up." Because the movement in the upper vertebra or lower vertebra surrounding the loose area is so limited, the body tries to naturally compensate for it, making the middle area move too readily.

**I am not a chiropractor. I have no chiropractic training. I am just reciting in very, very layman's terms what I was taught yesterday.**

Today, I am at the bank until 2 and then to the chiropractors until 6pm. I am doing that tomorrow as well, and on Friday, the bank is giving me a food day as a going away party. They are making barbecue, taco dip (per my request) and some sort of dessert. It should be wonderful and bittersweet. I have made friends here. I have shared a lot of my soul here, but it is time for change.

I think as I learn new things I will be posting about them. I knew nothing about chiropractic before two weeks ago, and I still know so little. Yesterday, though, I adjusted my boss's back! He walked me through the steps of how to do it, and I did it! It was so strange and slightly awkward. When have you ever gone in for your first day of work and ended up having your boss lay down on his stomach and instruct you on how to adjust his back? It was very interesting, though. He laid on a table that has two movable pieces where your stomach goes. He lifted those pieces up, and I pressed on the thoracic area of his back so that it seemed as though the table collapsed under him, though it was only the two movable parts. Then he readjusted the table and we did that five times. Then, he instructed me to check his feet and eye ball them to see if one leg looked longer than the other. Indeed, one leg did look longer! So, we went through the motions two more times until his legs were even. How strange is that?!

When I asked him how his feet came into play there, he said his pelvis is tilted and it makes it appear that one leg is longer than the other when in all actuality, it is just his pelvis tilted in the wrong direction. Strange! I had a great sense of accomplishment, though. It was a lot of fun if nothing else.

To me, this blog seems boring. It seems to be lacking flair. I mean, how interesting can it be to sit and read about what my day is like. For some reason, though, I have just been so cloudy in my brain this week. I haven't been able to write well at all. I've been getting bored with my knitting. I've run out of real projects to do, and I'm beginning to realize how much I depended on my Internet. It kept me in touch with the world. I could find patterns at the drop of a hat. I could listen to music if I was bored or just needed to think. I feel as though my lack of Internet has just spliced my creativity. Whenever I was curious about something or needed some food for thought, I could just Google something. My questions could always easily be answered. I'm just getting bored without it. I'm getting bored and my brain is not being stimulated.

I hope to have the Internet back soon. I hope to be able to talk with you all again, soon. I hope to have my "normal" life back soon. I hope to get my routine back. I think all this change and adjustment is happening rather quickly between getting to know my father, re-building my relationship with my Heavenly Father, changing jobs and following His path and His will, getting married, becoming more faithful to the friends I've got and not having much creative outlet, I am feeling stifled and overwhelmed at the same time. Wish me luck on my new endeavors...well not so much luck as blessing! I'm sure I will get around to reading the comments eventually. haha

Interview

This morning I had an interview in a new Chiropractic office in my town. It is opening on Monday, and they need receptionists/assistants, so I applied. It is time for change in my life, and banking was never the industry for me. It's just too corporate.

I am very intrigued by chiropractics. I know it is still new and somewhat controversial, but the stories are interesting. It would keep me around people and in the community, and it would also showcase my organizational capabilities. The space wouldn't be completely my own, but I would get to use it, the receptionist area during my shift. I really do think it is something that I could enjoy. Plus, it is a challenge because there is so much to learn. I know very little about chiropractics, and it gives me so much opportunity to learn.

The interview went so well. It was very comfortable, and I was just myself. I am really tired of being something other than who I am, and I think it is time to be honest with myself and those who love me. I like to help. I like to keep things clean and organized. I like to be busy, and I love to learn. I like to feel purpose, and I like to be challenged to meet deadlines. I also love to teach, and with this job, I would be given that opportunity as well.

Possibly the best part is that I would still get to work part time and even get paid a little more than what I make now. They believe in a holistic approach, and that is exciting to me. The wife is an occupational therapist with what seems to be a very bright and loving personality. The husband is the actual chiropractor, as well as athletic trainer and nutritionist. I feel like this combines so much of what people need. People need someone to listen. They need someone to care about them, and I feel like this business, these people, are going to do just that.

Wish me luck! I go back for a second interview on Friday this week, and hopefully I will get a job that I could love for a long time.

He is granting me Peace...somehow.

This weekend was pretty nice and so vastly different from this very same weekend last year. Last year, I was still in classes, frantically trying to catch up on all the homework I decided I wouldn't do all semester long before my finals. Last year, my very good friend Dusti stayed with me to ease the blow of spending my first Mother's Day without my mother. Last year, I was still angry and feeling a lot of pain. Last year, we had just moved back to our home town. Last year, we were cramped into a tiny apartment that I could never keep clean or feel at ease in.

This year is definitely different. I'm not in classes right now. I'm getting married. We have a much roomier apartment. I spent half the day with my Grandma and half the day with my fiance's mom. I finished a pair of fingerless gloves for a birthday present as well as one dishcloth that will be part of a set for a graduation/birthday/housewarming gift. I only cried a little, and I could feel my mom's presence around me all day, very much so when I was going to sleep last night.

However, none of these things are why I am in need of Peace. I am in need of Peace because my fiance's job is very rocky right now. They already let go of about 100 people about a month ago. They thought, moronically in my opinion, that the end of winter would bring them more business. A change in seasons does not bring a change in the wallet, though. Money does not bud with the flowers. In short, a sunny new season did not bring in more money for them, either. As of this morning, they have walked out another 10 or so people. They will probably continue walking out people through the afternoon and possibly tomorrow. The plant is closing for the week of the 25th to June 1st. They will then close again for 2 weeks to a month from about mid June to mid July.

Did I mention we are supposed to be getting married? I have already purchased a dress. He has already put a deposit on his tux. My bridesmaids have ordered their dresses for the most part. The groomsmen have put their deposit on their tuxes. None of that money can be refunded now. I am absolutely terrified we will have to postpone our wedding or get married in the courthouse, and all of our friends will be out their money. I don't want to put anyone else through the stress we are already dealing with just so we can pull off a wedding. At this point, things are starting to look really grim, and I can honestly say I don't know what to do.

Part of me wants to look deep inside myself and re-evaluate what I really want and expect out of this wedding. I never wanted a big wedding. I am really not fond of the idea of everyone staring at me. I don't like the pressure it is putting on people to come up with money they don't have. I don't want to make a speech.

I do want to look and feel beautiful. I do want to have a celebration with my friends and family. I do want to escape with my fiance/future husband. I do want to have fun and remember our wedding day fondly. I do want to experience the least amount of anxiety possible.

I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be great. I hate feeling such dread when I think of a day that is supposed to be so wonderful.

Yet Another Drumroll Please

I got my wedding dress this weekend!


The entire process was quick, easy, and painless. The girl that helped us was very nice, and she didn't pressure me to buy anything. I only tried on one style of dress, but for the rest of the appointment, I tried different colors of sashes. I finally settled on "cognac" according to David's Bridal's color pallet. I call it bronze. Ha ha.

Anyway, it is a strapless, white, satin, A-line dress. It is just poofy enough, and it has a train! If any of you saw my blog last month or so I posted a picture of the dress I thought I wanted, but it didn't have poof or a train. This dress really feels like a wedding dress. I feel comfortable in it. I feel beautiful in it. It fits all my curves the way a wedding dress should. It is tight enough that it doesn't move, so I won't be pulling up my dress all night. It is simple, but the girl who helped us let me try on a tiara, necklace and earrings that all have flair to dress it up. I even tried on a veil, and I loved wearing the veil!

Here is a link to the actual dress that I purchased and brought home this weekend. Once you are there, you can click on the color "cognac" from the color pallet to see the actual sash I will be wearing.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49995489&currentIdx=14&subCategory=-49999486%7c-49998998%7c-49995489&catentryId=1000119

The bridesmaids dresses are going to be green. They won't be quite this color of green, but the color of the bridesmaids dresses and the color of my sash looks absolutely wonderful together. It all still ties into the Fall theme that I want, and I am even thinking I might be able to use sunflowers in my bouquets! It will match the theme because sunflowers grow in the late summer, early fall. Sunflowers would actually be really pretty, and my mom would have loved them.

In other news, Big T's job will be closing for two weeks in the middle of the summer as well as cutting them down to four days a week, 8 hours a day and no overtime. All I can really say about this is that it is out of my hands and the $100 we've been managing to save toward our wedding every month is not going to happen anymore. We will get it all figured out, though. God has blessed us to this point, and I have faith that He will continue to teach us and mold us. It is all part of His plan, I guess, and I am trying to learn to accept that.

On my crafting front, I am making a baby blanket for the little boy baby shower that is in two weeks. It's one of those snuggle blankets that has a stuffed animal attached to it. This one has a big turtle attached to it. This weekend, I accomplished getting the top of the shell, bottom of the shell and head done. Tonight, I need to do some laundry, maybe a load or two, and I am hoping to at least finish the legs and sew the body together. Maybe I will even be able to start stuffing the little guy! It really is an adorable blanket. There will be pictures as it comes along.

And for a little insight...My sister said to me, "It has got to be surreal for you to have your wedding dress in the back of my car right now." It is surreal, but it is also very exciting. I feel as though I mature every day. I get less mad or upset over the little things, and I thoroughly enjoy the quiet moments in life, the simple moments. For example, when I was pulling away from my sister's house yesterday, my little niece M was sitting in the window. As soon as she saw me she started waving, so I waved back smiling. After I had got in the truck, I rolled down the window to see her still sitting, staring out the window, so I waved some more with a huge smile on my face. Then I started to blow kisses. She watched me for a few seconds, and then she melted my heart by blowing kisses back. Besides the obvious excitement over having my wedding dress, my heart just floated the rest of the day because of her sweet little gesture.

I think at some point, as I told my sister, I will feel sad that my mom wasn't there when I got my wedding dress, but really, she was there. She was there in it all helping me to feel happy and relaxed instead of anxious and upset. She was there when I saw how much I loved green and bronze instead of all brown. She was there when I realized sunflowers would be beautiful with the bridesmaids dresses. In all of my happiness, I know she was there.