Oh, If only, If only...

If only I had read the chapters! haha I cannot tell you how much I appreciate my sister's and Ant Knit's wishes of good luck. I am now down two finals and have one to go, but I am not feel so triumphant as I once was. I aced my first final. However, on my second final, I ran out of time and had it automatically submitted before I was done with my essay portion. I calculated that I lost about 40 out of 100 points, so I will get no better than a D on that final and a D in that class. It's sad because I had been doing so well....so well before I gave up. I was testing the waters, and they are the frigid waters of the real world where you do not test the waters because there is no one there to slap you back into reality. :)

My final final is an essay final. It has but six questions. Easy, you say? Doubt it. It would have been easy if I had read the chapters like I was supposed to. It would have been easy if I hadn't skipped class. It would have been easy had I not decided I wanted nothing to do with the academic world anymore. haha I am not even freaking out. I know I brought this on myself.

I am going to sell my books back today. I was hoping to sell them all back today, but as I have not read the chapters for my Psychology exam, I will not be able to sell that book back yet. I think my plan is going to be to take the books I am officially done with and sell them back today. Then, I will take the money I get from selling those books and get something to eat and see a movie with a friend of mine that has not seen me in about a month. Of course, the reason she hasn't seen me is because I always had that excuse that I had mountains of homework to catch up on. HA! There's the catch. I should never get behind on homework because I am not going to catch up on homework. The mere thought of going back to catch up on homework I missed is revolting to me. It's like taking steps backward when all I want to do is move forward. It's a desperately hopeless situation I'm in. I want the education if only the education allowed me to apply it right now, instead of reading about it right now and applying it later! Oh what a world, what a world...

Anyway, I am turning of the drama drain now, and I am off to sell my books. Then, tonight, I will return to conquer the evil Psychology exam! I have read all the questions, so I am prepared to mull them over all day, dreaming up new ways to B.S. my way through them. Oh please, just let it be over! If it weren't for being up to my ears in sock and pajama pant making, I would take the entire weekend off and do nothing, as sort of a slothy celebration of being done with the guilt of doing nothing the entire semester. Fantastic! Right?!

So again, thank you for your wishes of luck. They are deeply cherished, though they may not actually affect the productivity of my brain. Some day soon, when I am sitting in my own room with beautiful white mattresses covering every surface I could possibly bounce myself off of, wearing a lovely designer jacket with oh so many buckles that just hold my arms down to my body just so, and my eyes are bugging out of my head as by standers point and laugh, I will know you were all thinking of me, wishing me luck to get out of that desperate situation. ;)

I love you all! Goodnight and Good luck.....