Recently I have taken a more "healthy living" approach to life and mostly cut coffee out of my life...:( Sad...I know. However, it's not so sad because coffee, or lattes really, have become more a treat for me now, something I have come to savor instead of just chugging down and moving on. They have even become a point of interest for me in such a way that I sort of want to study them. I have had inner battles with myself numerous times about applying at coffee shop. I want to be apart of that atmosphere. I want to make the drinks. I want to have the knowledge! However, I also don't want to ruin that atmosphere for myself. I love coffee shops. I go there to relax, unwind, and soul search...as well as a little people watching from time to time. I fear that if I were to work in a coffee shop, especially one of the ones I love and frequent often, they would lose their appeal because I would be crossing the customer/barista borders. I would know intimate details that have held a wonderful air of mystery for me all these years, and yes, I do mean all these years. I have been drinking coffee regularly since I was 16 years old.
However, now, I am drinking green tea more regularly. It has loads of health benefits ranging from being good for your teeth because it works as a natural anti-bacterial and has a natural source of fluorine to holding the possibility to prevent or even cure some forms of cancers! Plus, green tea, when fermented little or not at all has loads less caffeine than coffee. This is good in my case because coffee tends to sky rocket my ADHD tendencies. ;o)
I have been reluctant to let go of coffee, though. I am coming to terms with the reasons why, slowly. A few of the things that keep my grip strong are mostly sentimental. Coffee was part of my personality. My mile a minute personality, bouncing from thought to thought, caffeine buzzed, became something I was known for, something people might consider one of my quirks. I fear that if coffee is not in my life anymore, I will be losing some sort of essence of my personality. Another reason I have gained some understanding of is that coffee ties me to my mom.
From the time I could sit in a car seat on the table, I was always witness to my mom having coffee on Saturday mornings with one or more of her friends. My mom used to tell me that I was such a good baby, low maintenance. No matter what kinds of things were going on in my life, my mom having coffee on a Saturday morning with her friends around the table was something stable. It brought me comfort.
Once I got into high school, I realized that coffee was not just something that brought me comfort, it was something that would allow me to stay up to all hours of the night talking to my boyfriend on the phone and still get up early the next morning and jet off to school, without eating breakfast of course. My health habits in high school were not all that great, but it was like this silent agreement between my mom and I. She got up early, started the pot of coffee, and by the time I was rushing out the door, the pot was full and ready to be poured. It became part of our routine, and I never dropped it, not even when one of my teachers in high school told me I was not allowed to bring a closed drink from home.
During my senior year at high school, I had a great art teacher, the first hour of the day, so I started taking a different route to class. She never minded me bringing in my coffee. Oddly enough, it didn't even spark an idea in all the other kids' minds to start bringing their own hot drinks. Again, there was that silent agreement. I was different than the other kids, and my art teacher got me. We had another bond in that our names were both Kylie, but hers was spelled differently.
So you see, I feel now that I have developed a more healthy relationship with Coffee. It is a comfort to me now, something I go to when I really need to do some soul searching, when I need to feel close to my mom, or when I need to just feel nostalgic about the good old days before becoming an adult. I cannot ever just boot it out of my life. We have formed a bond that non-coffee drinkers just cannot begin to understand. So please...don't judge me...don't judge my latte...my espresso...or even my plain coffee. Don't give me your gagging symbol when I tell you I am craving a piping hot "Cup o' Joe" because Coffee is very close to me and you will be greatly offending all that I hold sacred.