Friday, April 3, 2009

Dream Therapist

I wish I knew a dream therapist. I will recap my dream for you from last night/this morning.

I dreamt I was living in a huge, old Victorian house with my mom and my younger brother. I think my fiance and older brother lived there as well. My cat I own now lived there as well as the cats we had in my childhood. My late childhood dog lived there as well, and there were two new dogs there. (I have much attention to detail, as you can tell.) All of the animals were hanging out in the basement. (I use that term "hanging out" because no one was forcing them to be there. They all just congregated there.) My mom was washing dishes, and there was a big window in front of the sink for her to look out of. I don't remember seeing anything out of the window. I was seven months pregnant and completely obsessed with touching my belly to make sure my baby was still in there. I remember he felt tiny.

I walked into the big living room. I don't remember seeing furniture. I just walked over to the window, a big open window, and looking out. When I looked out, I was shocked to see water all the way up to the bottom of the window. The window was somewhere around 7-10 feet up. I panicked a little bit and jogged back to the kitchen. The kitchen was the other side of the house, and I actually looked through the window and saw water all the way up to the window sill on this side of the house as well. I really started to panic at this point. I yelled for my older brother, and he came to look. When I asked my mom what we should do, she told me to go start opening all the windows. I was completely dumbfounded. I was about to say to her, "If I open all the windows, all the water will come inside. Why would I open all the windows?!" I didn't get a chance to say anything, though because out of the corner of my eye, I saw a giant wave getting ready to crash into the house. I didn't even move. I just watched it come barreling in and shake the house to its core.

After that, my mom turned around and continued doing dishes as if she was completely oblivious to the fact that these waves were about to make this entire situation very dangerous. From there on, the waves started to hit the house on each side in succession. Hit the front...hit the back..., and the house started to rock. I could literally feel being swayed back and forth as the house rocked. I yelled out, "The house is going to crumble!" My mom looked at me, and it finally clicked with her that this was dangerous. Right at that moment, the back right corner of the house cracked, and we knew the foundation had been ripped out. All of a sudden, we all knew instinctively what we had to do. My mom yelled jump just as the last wave hit the back side of the house, and we all jumped out the back door. Suddenly, as we jumped out and all landed on our feet in the yard The house collapsed in on itself but only in the middle. It was a giant house. There were three sections, like a castle almost, but it was all made out of wood. It was so old and Victorian. The shutters were a beautiful pastel green.

As soon as the house crumbled, I yelled, "Chloe!" (Chloe was the dog we had in my late childhood. We had to get rid of her after Mom died.)All the animals had been in the basement, but miraculously, they made it out alive, as only animals could. My mom, my older brother M, and I were standing in the back yard, and it was completely soaked. We were in shock, and there were hundreds of bystanders watching in horror.

None of the rest of the town was flooded.

No one else's house was ruined.

I looked around, and my younger brother was standing in the front yard staring at the house with his mouth hanging open. The middle of the house laid flat, and he could see us from the front yard. The water was gone.

I was completely confused. All I could think about was all the stuff that had been in the house. All of everything I owned had been in the part that collapsed. I started to wonder if we would be able to salvage anything, if we could just remove the debris carefully enough to salvage everything I owned.

I remember wondering what was going to happen to me and my baby now that we had nothing.

Then I woke up, completely confused.


  1. Conflicted much?

    Let's see???

    *miss your mom

    *feel unstable

    *unsure of what is going on and no one around you seems to know either!

    *not sure of how you will handle having children without her guidance

    I think that is about it.

  2. I can't tell you why the animals were all hanging out together or what the symbolisms of water and waves are, but it's clear that you dream is centered around loss and anxiety. (I think these might be common themes in some of your postings, right?)

    It's not a surprise you would think this way. You have been, and are going through a time of big transition. At the end of it though, even after losing so much, remember that you have your life today, the memories of the past, and a hope for the future. No flood waters can take that from you.