Well, recently, I have been without a computer at home because it was infected with a stupid Trojan virus. Luckily, I know a handful of techy guys, and I was able to get it fixed for free. I can't even begin to say how thankful I am for the man that fixed it because I am a moron when it comes to computers (among other things). I am at work now, but I will eventually remember to take my computer from my sister's house. It will be strange to finally have my own computer back because it has been gone for nearly five or six days now!
Anyway, onto the point of this blog. The picture above is of a new dress I made for one of my tiny nieces. It isn't actually long enough to be a dress, though because I didn't have her measurements, but it is adorable paired with some little jeans. I just need to sew the straps down and sew in my loose strands of yarn and it will be finished. I can't wait to get a picture of her actually wearing it. I tried it on her little sister, too, and I will be making one for my other tiny niece in orange, yellow and white. They are absolutely adorable.
A week later I have finally received my purchase from the JoAnn's website, and I can continue on with my first real afghan. It is coming along beautifully, and I have never felt so confident crocheting as I do now. I can finally call myself and intermediate crocheter! When I get a few more squares done, I will lay them out and take a picture of the ones I have and leave gaps for the ones I don't have done yet.
I also have a baby shower coming up in about two weeks as well as two birthdays coming up in about three weeks. I am curious to see what kinds of things I can make for these people, and I think it is high time to bust out some of my scrapbook gear for the first time in over a year to make some birthday cards! I can't wait. I have been itching to get into my scrapbook stuff recently. For some reason, nice weather makes me want to open up all the windows and scrapbook all day! Ha Ha I know I am quite strange, but I don't really enjoy the outdoors all that much. Nice weather also makes me want to shop! That's a bad deal... I just hope I have enough crafty stuff to keep me away from the stores for a little while. ;o)
In recent wedding news, I am continuing to have mental breakdowns. I am really afraid of getting married for very many reasons. I am afraid of divorce. I am afraid either of will not be happy. I am afraid of changing, that one or both of us will change or fall out of love with each other. I am afraid of needing my mother more than I already do only to be let down by the fact that she is gone. I am afraid of having children. I am afraid of losing my future husband to disease after we already have children. I am just afraid of what the future could hold. I am pessimistic by nature. (I was told yesterday I worry too much, and I replied, "It's in my stupid DNA.") Don't get me wrong. I am excited and joyous to spend the rest of my life with someone, especially this someone, but I am afraid that it won't be the rest of my life.
Last night, I asked my fiance to promise me that we will always be creative and have fun and that he will never let me stop dreaming and having goals. That is my biggest fear about getting married. I am afraid that I will settle into a lifestyle that I am way to young for and that I will never see the world. I want to see the world, and I would love to see the world with my future husband. I just don't want to ever stop having goals and reaching goals. Being the type of person I am and having a supportive fiance like I do, I don't think that will ever happen. I think we will always be reaching for something.
I told him also that I want to have stories to tell when we are the two old people sitting on the porch in rocking chairs. He said I could tell the stories because he wouldn't remember anything in his old age...That's a laugh! I can't remember anything in my young age. Do you think maybe I will progressively get a better memory instead of a worse one? Maybe I am a miracle waiting to happen. ;o)
well, i am not a relationship guru but heres my opinion. you hit the nail on the head for what makes a marriage work. the best feeling in the world is to have someone behind you supporting you all the way no matter the leap you might take without being jealous or because he is not interested he does not encourage you. i think your marriage will work wonderful because you are adventurous. the best part is that you are discussing what you want and what you expect before it even happens. children are wonderful and bring you joy, but you could take a little time and make some of those memories together. enjoy each other and the special bond you share. so, there you have it--infinite wisdom..lol...wish you both the best!!
ReplyDeleteJust an opinion, but...
ReplyDeleteWhen you are old and gray, having the same someone holding your hand that chose to hold your hand all these years before might just be all you need.
The other things are all just icing.
one thing to keep in mind is that love is a choice more than an emotion.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Marcia. Everyday you have to wake up and choose to love your mate unconditionally. This is easier said than done, coming from the one that dislikes her mate more than not. Talk, communicate both of you that makes the bad and good times just a bit better. That is one thing mommab has going for her.
ReplyDeleteNow living with all the fears you have you make me scared to walk out the door. I had the pleasure of knowing your mother and she would do things even if she was afraid to. You can't live life terrified of what could happen, only what is happening. This is also something I work with everyday. The shirt(dress) is cool looking. Big T is also lucky to have you and I think he knows it.
what Kekee said made me think of something that struck me profoundly (or profoundlyish anyhow). My sister in law's friend posted something about drinking her slim fast meal and SIL's reply was, "Life is too short to drink your meals" - life is short. It should be enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteNow that doesn't have anything to do with your blog entry it's just what came to my mind when Kekee mentioned how your mom would do things even if she was afraid. Good for her! Life is short - we should LIVE! (ok so admittedly that was mostly for me because I tend to be a super huge fraidy cat who lives in bondage to fear nearly every day...)